The Friendly Hermit

Do As I Say, Not As "I Do"?

2009-11-06T18:19:05Z

In Soc of Family today we discussed how there is strong agreement in US society that divorce should be harder to get but the lip service doesn't bear out in actual practice.

There is almost universal agreement (>90%) that divorce is a serious national problem.
Somewhere between 1/2-2/3 agree society would be better off if divorce were harder to get.
A supermajority (about 2/3) agree that long waiting periods help people get over anger and work through problems, and that couples should be required to wait a year after filing before the divorce is granted.
About the same disagree that any spouse should be able to divorce at any time for any reason.
An overwhelming majority (about 80%) agree it is at least somewhat important that couples have counseling before the wedding, and about 50% agree it should be required by law.
Very close to universal agreement (about 90%) that it is at least somewhat important that couples seek counseling if they are unable to resolve problems in their marriage.
Put those all together and you've basically got covenant marriage. About 30-40% "support" covenant marriage, 45-50% have "mixed" feelings about it, and about 10-20% "oppose" covenant marriage.

In 49 states no-fault divorce (any spouse, any time, any reason) is allowed. In one other state mutual consent no-fault is allowed.
29 states have no waiting period.
10 states (including DC) have a waiting period of 7 months or less.
7 states have a waiting period of 6 months or less under certain circumstances (consent, no children, etc).
5 states have a waiting period of at least a year even with consent.
Half of states have reconciliation counseling laws but they are pretty much unenforced/optional.
No state requires all couples to receive premarital counseling.
3 states - AR, AZ, & LA - allow covenant marriages as an option (required counseling prep; mutual disclosure of financial info and such; limited divorce grounds such as abuse, adultery, addiction, felony imprisonment, or separation for 2 years; marital counseling for problems threatening marriage).
Only 2% of marriages in LA are covenant and only 1/2% of marriages in AR & AZ are covenant.

Exactly Right

2009-11-05T03:06:00Z

The American Foundation for Equal Rights said, in response to the Maine referendum outcome:

“Our founding fathers did not intend for people’s Constitutional rights to be determined by political campaigns. The results in Maine underscore exactly why we are challenging California’s same sex marriage ban in federal court. When the Supreme Court ruled in Loving v. Virginia, more than 70 percent of Americans disapproved of interracial marriage. The U.S. Constitution guarantees equal rights to every American, and when those rights are violated, it is the role of our courts to protect us, regardless of what the polls say.”

(via Box Turtle Bulletin)

US Voting Day!

2009-11-03T20:28:19Z

I voted today. Did you?

White Men are Not Very Progressive

2009-11-02T17:59:32Z

Let the full implications of this map sink in.

College Students Commodified (Axe)

2009-11-02T17:07:41Z

Have you seen the Axe "get girl-approved hair" hetero/sexist, protest-tactic-appropriating marketing campaign? Basically, men with "bad hair" of some sort are shown walking along minding their own business when they are rushed by a mini-mob of women who shampoo their hair and redo it using Axe hair products while a woman with a bull horn provides pithy commentary in the background.

They've invaded our campus. They're not filming commercials, and as far as I know no men are actually being mobbed to have their hair re-done. However, I've seen mini-mobs of women carrying bull horns and protest signs and handing out free samples of hair product at least three times in the last few weeks. This morning there were about twenty women gathered in front of the library planning out their morning's "protest" and as I walked towards my office I could hear them start shouting marketing slogans through the bull horn.

Another sign that the end of civilization approaches.

The Subprime Student Loan Racket

2009-10-29T01:53:51Z

Interesting story here

QotD

2009-10-13T18:53:34Z

"...homophobia in any form, as far as I can tell, stems from a lower level of human development - but it is a level, it exists, and one has to make room in one's awareness for those lower levels as well, just as one has to include third grade in any school curriculum. Just don't, you know, put those people in charge of anything important."

- Ken Wilber in the Foreword to Soulfully Gay by Joe Perez

Skeptical About Public Option

2009-09-05T15:17:32Z

From Daily Kos:

It seems unremarkable to say that yes, the insurance industry would be willing to scrap preexisting condition denials -- in exchange for mandating that every single American in the nation purchase their product. That seems more than a fair trade, for an industry that values profits above all else. AHIP has been broadcasting television commercials touting that very point -- "if everyone is covered, we can make healthcare affordable" -- for at least the last month. And it seems obvious that our Senators, who are so beholden to the whims of lobbyists that they will do nothing, absolutely nothing, that it is not first proposed by those very same lobbyists, would eagerly go for such a thing.

Mark my words -- we are at the point where no legislation can be passed unless it benefits an American corporate sector more than it benefits anyone else. We are that corrupt, and our government is that beholden. No matter how hated an industry may be, or how many citizens of a nation it may have hurt, it will always receive the kind graces of the government that it has paid for.

The White House is all but explicitly saying that the public option is off the table. Leak after leak indicates that it is no longer the "focus" of the White House; Reid and others continue to minimalize its importance compared to the much less controversial task of trading away responsibility for American healthcare reform to the very groups that have gutted it in the first place.

Bolding mine.

EDIT: Here's an open letter to President Obama published by the LA Times urging him not to go this route.

Write the President and echo these sentiments.

Job Opportunity

2009-07-16T17:46:48Z

The University of Arizona is hiring for an LGBTQ Affairs Program Director:
http://www.uacareertrack.com/applicants/Central?quickFind=195189

An insightful reflection on gender from Penny Arcade

2009-07-16T04:17:05Z

The box of Dwarven Forge stuff I ordered showed up yesterday, and when Kara saw it she told me it looked like a dollhouse for boys. I laughed and explained that it was actually tactical terrain for building utilizable dioramas.

This afternoon as I was placing the tiny mugs of ale in the tavern I had built, my mind drifted back to her words from yesterday. I shook my head to clear the thought. Come on, this is clearly not a dollhouse. I chuckled softly to myself as I placed the miniature basket of butter-horns on one of the wooden tables. Dollhouses are for girls.

LiveJournal as Six Degrees

2009-07-12T14:58:34Z

I wonder if anybody on my friends list from UT Martin still has contact with Amanda Wilson.

I had a dream about her last night.

I miss her.

Palin to Resign Alaskan Governorship Within the Month

2009-07-03T20:21:45Z

Bizarre.

ETA: Some have speculated that this is a move for the 2012 Presidential campaign but I can't imagine she doesn't know that resigning halfway into her first term as governor is a suicidal move in terms of Presidential aspirations. I suspect she is either just tired of national scrutiny (or that along with some secret personal crisis is too much for her) and wants to move herself and her family into a more private sphere, or she is planning to move into some less conventional unelected political role (though I can't imagine what that might be since she is not known for deep policy analysis or superior public speak ability).

ETA2: Andrea Mitchell suggests based on unnamed family friend sources that it is the former: that she is sick of politics and public scrutiny.

We Has A Kitten, Part II

2009-05-27T22:20:32Z

The vet determined kitten is male and actually only about 5 weeks old. It got a clean bill of health regarding FIV & FeLV today, so now just waiting to get the clear on worms tomorrow. In the meanwhile he also gets eyedrops for his eye, which is looking much better already.

Kitten is now locked away in our office off the bedroom, with a pet gate put up outside so there are no dashes when the door is opened.

Kitten continues to be adorable, even moreso if possible. The vet office folks determined that he was pretty much all bark and no bite, carried him around with them all morning yesterday, and encouraged us to have him interact with people as much as possible. We let him out in the office last night and he promptly hid under the armoire, but later that night I pried him out and we along with Monika and Michael held him, fed him, petted him, and played with him. (The vet assistant sent him home with some cat toys, a toy mouse and a fuzzy ball. Allen put the mouse on the end of a stick and string, which he LOVES, no surprise there.) He also began learning hands are for petting and not for biting or clawing. Overall he was very compliant and at some point decided we must not be all that bad, or at least that we weren't secretly planning to eat him. Just to be sure, we stuffed towels around the bottom of the armoire. :)

This morning he greeted Allen at the door.

We Has A Kitten

2009-05-26T06:38:22Z

We found it late last night in our parking lot (well, actually the cactus patch beside our parking lot). It was yowling. We watched it for a long while and there were no other adult cats or kittens around, so we decided to try to catch it because it was in obvious distress. It took about a hour to corner and capture it. It's currently in the dog kennel on our back porch with a towel, food, and water. It is, shall we say, untamed. According to M, who has fostered lots of kittens, it is about 8-10 weeks old. Also, it is adorable. We're taking it to the vet tomorrow to get checked out (it has some sort of eye issue, maybe an infection or abrasion) and get advice on what to do next.

We will be placing it with a no-kill shelter or consider keeping it, depending on the health report and on what the vet says (and, if all that is good, how things go with Rio and Tessa). We were not looking for another animal, and if we were it would probably not be a kitten but an adult cat or dog, or in any case not a long-haired, clawed, feral or semi-feral kitten. But, when a kitten appears on the night of your anniversary, this is not a sign to be easily dismissed.

Attack of the Killer Bees!

2009-05-08T18:53:05Z

So, our bit of excitement this week has been...bees. Bees, probably Africanized (because that's the usual story in AZ), started a nest in the overhang of our back porch. Fortunately they had not been there long enough to get really aggressive. Allen noticed dead bees on the back porch and then noticed them flying in and out near the edge of the roof line. Which was kind of cool but also kind of scary.

So the bee removal folks came out yesterday afternoon and sprayed the nest, but it sometimes takes a few stragglers a little time to die. The stragglers become disoriented and fly/walk around all over the place. Apparently that includes through our not-quite-perfectly-sealed sliding glass door on the back porch. We knew this because one came through fairly soon after they sprayed. So I closed the bedroom door in case any others managed to get in. Well, they did. We returned from a walk last night to...BEES IN THE HOUSE. Fun. There were less than 10, and most of them were mostly dead, but it was still a little scary. We left and took the animals over to M's for a while, and then I came back over and started spraying them with Raid while Allen called the bee removal folks (who were going to come back for an evening inspection anyways) to make sure they got all the nest. Since we kept finding them and were not sure we had gotten them all we slept in the living room for the night. We seem to be clear today, no new bees in the house, and nothing moving outside. Our crisis averted.

But it turns out there may be 1 or 2 other nests starting in our community as well. Geez.

JP Morgan Outsources Food Stamp Jobs to India

2009-04-30T01:55:04Z

This is too, too delicious.

Louisiana legislature seeks to block creation of smouldering cheetah tempresses

2009-04-22T20:51:37Z

Well, sort of. All kidding aside, this could have negative effects on legitimate, commonly practiced medical research. (via Political Animal)

A Little Citizenship

2009-04-17T23:25:44Z

I sent a message to the White House thanking them for release of the torture memos, calling them what they are (illegal and evil), pointing out they did not occur in a vacuum, and requesting support for an investigation and holding someone accountable.

You should too.

A nasty and persistent legacy

2009-04-16T20:52:07Z

Is it really coincidence that the Georgia Senate and the Texas Governor have started touting secessionist rhetoric while the nation is being lead by its first black President?

Somehow I think not.

Eve Kosofsky Sedgwick dies at 58.

2009-04-14T19:52:27Z

Oh. What a loss.

Interesting Info related to the Iowa Decision

2009-04-03T21:32:04Z

Apparently the Iowa decision against the same-sex marriage ban is not only the latest but arguably the strongest and most proactively worded to date. They actually inserted a little civics lesson into the decision explaining why it isn't "judicial activism."

Also, each of the four state Supreme Court rulings in favor of same-sex marriage have been written by Republican governor appointees.

Another Job 4 U

2009-02-22T06:52:12Z

Position: Coordinator (Women's and LGBT Services)
Salary: $30,000 to less than $40,000
Institution: University of Houston-Clear Lake
Location: Texas
Date posted: 2/19/2009

Job Opportunity

2009-02-11T21:40:02Z

Some of you may be interested in this position (or know someone who would be):
Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgender and Questioning Community Coordinator at Oberlin College.
Requirements: B.A. degree in LGBT and Queer Studies, Sexuality Studies, African American Studies, American Studies, Ethnic Studies, Gender and Women's Studies, or related field; experience working with the issues and concerns of LGBTQ students; experience constructing and executing academic and/or cultural programs; track record of strong interpersonal and organizational skills and working collaboratively.

More information in the Chronicles of Higher Ed link above or you can go directly to the very detailed job listing on the Oberlin site.

[economy] How bad is it?

2009-02-07T00:46:33Z

According to the graph on this page, very, VERY bad, and it's likely to get much, MUCH worse.

Wii

2009-01-20T07:27:12Z

After a few months hiatus I got back on tonight. Did anyone get Wiis for Christmas or otherwise recently in the last few months?
My Wii # is:
0329 3989 0644 1555